They Walk Among Us Re-Deux
When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, the would-be robber did something that can only inspire wonder.
He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
The chef at a hotel lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
After stopping for drinks at a bar, a bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception was not discovered for 3 days.
A teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the boy told the police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
A man walked into a store, put a $20.00 bill on the counter, and asked the clerk for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer….$15.00.
Seems a man wanted some beer pretty badly, he decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
As a female shopper exited a convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.” (He had the right to remain silent; he just did not have the ability)
A man walked into a fast food place at 5AM, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he could not open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they were not available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. (Which is worse the robber or the clerk??)
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on the street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to the motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was best laugh he’d ever had.
(The last one is my favorite of the bunch).
Knuckle Draggin Country Cousin
Cedar Creek, TX